Category Archives: Uncategorized

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Why I Love Nicknames

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Shorty, cutie, lovebug, tornado, cowboy, princess, firecracker, lefty…

A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet…

I admit it, I have a problem… I am one of those people that takes the names of people I love and changes them. I do not know how or when this started but almost no one I interact with on a daily basis has their “proper” name in my world. I don’t think I could stop if I tried! My dad was called “Juny” growing up because he was named after his father and was a junior. My husband tells me that he was “Mad-Dog-Don” as a child because he was grumpy when he was hungry! I was “Panda” with my sisters when I was 4 years old and still am on my Valentine card from my husband 40 years later. Even though my son has politely asked me to refrain from using his nickname while screaming when he rounds the track for his final lap, I cannot help yelling, “Go Noodle Go”! Our daughter has gone from “Principessa”, to “Princess”, and now to “Princi” for short! I even named one of my kid’s teachers “Mrs. Poopy Pants” in third grade because she was such a miserable person (and P.S. the name stuck 😉 )! My mom is now “Gramseeee”, and yes we have to write out all those “eeee”‘s whenever we send her anything! One of my friends went from “Eileen”, to “Eileen the Queen” and now I just call her “Queen”, she is even in my phone contacts under “Queen”! Did you know that the term nickname comes from Greek or Roman origin meaning “term of endearment”? They are used in songs, books, and movies to lend a familiarity to the person or subject. I actually have a slew of nicknames that I go by and I wouldn’t trade a single one. When I look at the special names that I answer to, aside from my given name, they inevitably make me smile. Some of them have been with me since before I even entered nursery school, some from friends who call me by my maiden name, some come from shared experiences that we use to remember a funny thing that happened, but all of them are because of my connection with these friends and loved ones that have enriched my life! When I throw out a nickname to someone, it has been grown out of affection, respect, commonality, closeness. You are part of my inner circle, you are a part of my life that I share with a fond memory. You are called a loving variation of husband, daughter, son, friend, sister, parent. Some might call it a nickname, a love name, a pet name…  I just call it BLESSED!

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Knock, knock… “It’s Open”!

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We live in a house with many doors. Each door has a purpose, a meaning, a reason for being. Front doors for adorning and welcoming guests. Side doors for everyday routines like running to catch the school bus or coming in after checking the mail. Back doors to leave unlocked in case a family or friend needs to get it in without a key, and for letting the dog in and out. Hidden doors for storing treasures. Castles have trap doors, theaters have stage doors, city towers have revolving doors. Doors are funny things–ordinary things. We all have them and we use them every day. Some open only one way, some lock, some have windows to see what’s inside, some get stuck in a closed position, some get stuck open, some squeak, some are slow, some slam behind you, some need coaxing to loosen the handle or hinge. Painted, stained, natural, metal, wood, paper…

Our soul is a house with many doors. Are you quiet or squeaky? Do you get stuck closed? Do you have windows to let in the light? Are you locked up tight or open wide? Do you quickly slam or do you close gently with the slightest breeze?  When someone comes knocking are you open for business? Do you unlock a door only for special family or friends? Do you need extra care to spring free? Today, I am thinking about my many doors, their openness, their stubbornness, their gentleness, their voice. Most of them are good solid doors. I like them all, but maybe I’ll just touch them up a bit–a little oil, a little tightening, maybe some new paint, a handle to shine. You never know who may come a knockin’!

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The Champion In You

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imagesHere’s a little story about what my daughter did this past weekend. Let me go back a few weeks and catch you up! Right before Christmas, one of my daughter’s best friends, who is an all star competitive cheerleader, suffered a broken elbow. We join the story when my daughter was called in to be her fill in. We embarked on this all star competition cheer journey not really knowing what to expect, but blindly went forward. Seriously, we were basically blind going forward into this venture, we didn’t know what to expect and just kept putting one foot in front of the other… I had a couple of moms on speed-text dial helping me navigate signing waivers, getting to multiple practices, getting a uniform, getting a team warm up suit, making travel arrangements for out of town competitions at  big named competitions like Athletic Championships, NCA, Cheersport, etc. All this within a month of beginning and that was the easy part! The harder part came in the form of my (shy) daughter going to the first practice in a gym the size of a few football fields, not knowing the coaches or even most of the team, picking up where girls (who had been there since April that year) had left off, learning the choreography, learning the pyramid, doing tumble passes, getting sore, getting tired, but in all of this looking forward to the glory of competing after weeks of hard work! Her first competition arrived and she was ready! All of the details we could control were in place, the right hair, the right makeup, the uniform, the energy, the drive… I watched them compete and actually “saw” only one cheerleader on that stage. Isn’t it funny how when parents are watching their own child, all else fades and fuzzes out into the background? She nailed it! It was perfect! The awards came and they announced that our team got… 2nd place. Not only did they get 2nd place but they only missed 1st place by a half of a point. Yes, we walked back from the event to the hotel and focused on congratulating our daughter on a great first competition, she had done a beautiful job! Back to the gym, back to the practice schedule, more work, more preparation. The next competition arrived. The awards came and they announced that our team got… 2nd place. Again, same conversation–Great job! You looked perfect! But of course, 2nd place is not 1st place and that is the prize we all set out to achieve when we compete. Competing is as old as time and for the very fortunate among us, that first place, that personal best, that glorious moment when your name is called above the others is a moment you never forget. We all have that champion inside of us filling us with hope, drive and determination to succeed. Don’t quit, don’t give up, don’t stop trying! It is that champion in us that propels us to be the best! I bet all of you can remember that one game that you played and in the last second your team scored the winning goal or that race sprinting to the finish and your foot crossed the finish line before your opponent, or how about when you hit that ball out of the park and ran in the winning run over home plate! Cheers, high fives, hugs! The thrill of victory is what makes all of the practice, all the sore muscles, all the harried scheduling worthwhile. All of the times that the ball bounced out of the hoop instead of fell in, the times when you get tackled instead of running the ball into the end zone, the times when the swimmer in the next lane touches the wall a half of a second before you, those are the times when the thought of the win keeps you going. You practice, you prepare, and you know that the winner is in you! So, last weekend our cheer team goes to one of the biggest cheer competitions in the country. I think there were over 950 teams competing! Now, that is big!! Our team had practiced, had prepared, and we knew that winner was in each one of them. This particular event is a two day event where each day counts as as 50% of your total score, when they announced that my daughter’s team was in 1st place for the first day, we were ecstatic! Day two comes, and the team showed its preparation, its perseverance and its drive for winning with an outstanding performance! The girls (& boy :)) sit at awards, listening, holding hands, silently praying, while they announce that our team got… wait for it… 1st place!! It was thrilling, they were elated, overjoyed, triumphant! They had done it! They had the winner within and were able to show it to the world! I know they say that winning isn’t everything, and I believe that, but when you are in that moment where you are the champion, you are the one and only number one, there is no other feeling like it on earth! So, congratulations to the winners of the games, the winners of the races, the winners of the cheer competitions, we rejoice with you- You are the champions!

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In Your Honesty Is Your Beauty

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b6b2956fee1c75c4095c325fc7a3aeea Do you ever have those moments where life gives you something that you weren’t expecting and you walk around saying “I’m sorry that I am being _____, it’s just that….”. What is it we are doing when we apologize for what the great teacher of experience is trying to show us? Are we comparing ourselves to someone else? Are we comparing ourselves to a different version of us?  Maybe the version we think we should be, or the version that we want others to see? I find myself doing this often when I am mad, tired, or frustrated with something, even sometimes apologizing if I am happy about something great that happened … It prompted me to realize that in our honesty is where we will find our beauty. At times when honesty in life is the most difficult, you have the power to be at your most beautiful. We all will go through trials, and we all will have triumphs. Don’t make any of these events smaller than they really are by taking the true emotion out of the experience. You do not owe yourself or anyone else an excuse or explanation because there is purpose in your experience and sharing it honestly is important! Haven’t you had that moment where a friend is sharing a story and you realize that you completely understand what they are talking about and shout,  “Me too!” or ” I feel the same way!” or “The same thing happened to me!”? By being honest about your life, you actually create a fuller life. We may not  always say them out loud but we share common experiences. On the day that your perfect life that you have worked so hard on shows cracks, scrapes, bumps and bruises– be real, be sad, be strong, be frustrated. These are the moments that will build your foundation one brick at a time, until one day you have a mighty palace. On the day that your journey lands you on that big, white, fluffy cloud number nine, and everything is not just what you had dreamed it would be, but so very much more– be joyful, be loud, be grateful, be jubilant! These are the moments that will keep you a dreamer when other things or people fail you. Beauty comes from living each experience with authenticity. Beauty comes from feeling your feelings honestly. Beauty comes from not making excuses of why you are happy or why you are sad. Beauty comes from living out loud. Beauty comes from admitting your weakness and from admitting your strength! Each experience in life is put before us to bring us closer to the fullness of all we can become. This life we lead, it is more than one in a million… Heck, it is the ONLY one! Live it, feel it, respect it. There is only one version of you, one version of  your life, one version of your hopes and dreams… and none of these versions will look like some one else’s. Don’t compare your life – Share your life! In God’s expert hands our lives are finely crafted objects of art. In all of our experiences, be true, be real, be YOU! Wherever your “here” is today, it is exactly where you are supposed to be! In your honesty, your beauty shines. Let the world in and let it be a mirror to your unique and wonderful life, because yours is the fairest of them all!

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Music is the Soudtrack of My Life

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So, last night I watched the Grammy awards and let me say, I. LOVE. MUSIC! I know that it has been said that your sense of smell can evoke the most powerful memories of a person or an event or a feeling– but in my world, music is my most powerful flashback in time. I have memories all tied up in music and tied to all different kinds of music too. Some songs that come to mind are:

Sitting in circle time in nursery school on our own little square pieces of rugs, singing “The Itsy-Bitsy Spider”.

Crisp fall days swinging in the back yard with my sister, sitting “spider style” singing “Oh ho ho, It’s Magic You Know…Never Believe It’s Not So…” at the top of our lungs with the sun smiling down on us.

My very first live concert, The Carpenters, “Top of the World Looking Down on Creation…”

The last song at our high school dances, wanting it to last forever with Journey-”Open Arms”, (thank goodness that Stairway To Heaven was on its way out as the last dance by the time I logged into my memory bank ;)).

Listening to any and every U2 song over and over and over again as they fueled college-age dreams of creating a better world.

My first dance as a married woman to Tony Bennet’s, “Young, Warm and Wonderful” and feeling just that, so wonderful and warm and young!

Singing to my children every night when they were little, all squeaky clean from a bath, feety pajamas, cozy in their warm beds, “You Are My Sunshine…”.

Crying in awe at my uncle’s version of “Ave Maria” every single time he sings it.

Watching my daughter perform her very first solo as Clara to Tchaikovsky in the “Nutcracker Suite”.

Listening to my son play his first song on his new piano a few weeks ago, “Skyfall” by Adele.

And the list goes on…

Music is the backdrop to snapshots of so many memories. The thing that amazes me is how we can all hear a song and feel that sense of connection with it, but all of us for different reasons! How awesome that we can all watch the Grammy awards from different parts of the country and be moved by the music that stirs in our very own soul. Whether it’s sitting in your childhood bedroom, pressing rewind & then play to hear your favorite song on your tape player, or standing at a concert, hands in the air, heart lifted high, singing with a zillion other people sharing the same magical moment, music has spoken to your heart. Quiet, loud, fast and slow–Some days it comforts you, some days it hopes with you, cries with you and celebrates with you. Sometimes you remember it with your “firsts”, and sometimes you hold it as you remember your “lasts”. Today, I am thankful for the gift of music and the journeys I have taken with it throughout my life. Which songs are creating the soundtrack to your life? Are you remembering a person, a time, a feeling? Find the song of your soul right now, unwrap the gift, and take a minute to crank it up! Ho, Hey everybody!!

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Fine, thanks.

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Hi!

Hey.

How are you?

Fine, thanks.

How many times do we do this every week? Why do we repeat this every time someone asks how we are doing? Are we always fine? Or is it a dance we learned years ago and we just stick to the same moves each time we see a familiar face? Are you, or the person you are asking really fine? Could you actually be awesome, worried, surprised, sad, thrilled, scared, on top of the world or at your wits end?

I was faced with two questions when I started thinking about this blog post. My first question was, when I see you and ask, “Hey, how are you?” –am I really asking because I want to know how you are truly feeling? Am I prepared to actually listen to the answer with my heart and my mind? Am I ready to celebrate with you or cry with you if the answer is anything but the usual “fine, thanks”? Then my second question was this, if you ask me how I am doing and I am more than fine or less than fine, why do I answer “fine, thanks”? We are essentially taking our humaness out of the interaction. We are social creatures, we run in the same circles, we fight the same fights, we share common joys and share common tears. We are only human… and we need each other! What if, for the next week or so, or longer, (or forever :)) we take out the word “fine” from our answer to this everyday question? Couldn’t we then, open a more authentic dialog with one another? Today, I may BE the lamp or the lifeboat or the ladder, or today I may NEED that lamp or that lifeboat or that ladder. Open up! Open to the question you may be asked and open to the answer you may receive! Let’s just see what happens when we open our hearts to one another through our words… real words! Make up your own dance along the way, you just might find the music in the everyday!

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Do Our Children Become Our Conscience?

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LIVESTRONG-bracelet

When I say the name Lance Armsrong, chances are you have a strong opinion of him. Over the course of the past twelve years he has become so many different things to so many different people… victor, villian, champion, cheat. Way back in 2000, my husband and I began to watch the Tour de France and were immediately swept up in the inspirational story of this scrappy, American kid who fought his way to the top of the cycling world. The story most of us know includes a viscious battle with cancer where he crawls out victorious. Lance Armstrong became an inspiration to cancer survivors, cancer warriors, young cyclists, heck, any age cyclists! My husband bought a road bike in 2000 and has been riding every week since!! There are few homes that Lance’s story did not touch. Not only did he beat cancer, but he was beating up the Tour de France year, after year, after year. Amid all of this success, he started the Livestrong Foundation to help cancer patients and their families worldwide. Wow! How does he do it? What an inspiration! He is amazing! He is a hero! And that is exactly what he became- a modern day superhero. A sea of yellow bracelets were proof that we all wanted to believe in him and his story. So, fast forward to a couple of weeks ago when Lance agreed to do an exclusive interview with Oprah based on allegations that he had used illegal and banned substances to help him win all of those races. After years of vehemently denying that he had ever participated in using those substances, he finally came out and admitted that he had done just that-and that he had done it for years. Now, honestly if we look hard enough (or maybe not very hard), I know that we can find cheating in any and every sport, whether it is as big as performance enhancing drugs or as little as stretching the truth. Have you ever competed with someone, in any arena where that win is just out of reach? No matter how hard you try, there is always someone a little bit faster, a bit out of your grasp? Whether it is at work or school or sports, do you ever just touch your toe over that line of integrity? Maybe you didn’t exactly tell the truth about those last few seconds of the race, perhaps you rounded up or down wherever it suited you to become the winner of that particular goal. Are the small blurred lines as bad as what Lance Armstrong did? Lance said in the interview that he needed to come clean and tell the truth because of his kids. He didn’t want his children to see him as a cheater. Do our children then become the soft whisper of our conscience? If our children learn and model our behavior by the choices we make everyday, don’t they become our conscience? Our actions, our words, our behaviors towards others become our children’s inner voice. Kids are more perceptive than we realize and just when we think no one is watching, they are learning by our example, be it right or wrong. Integrity turns out to be something you have to practice everyday. It can be encouraged in the big and little choices we face on a daily basis. Today, as I am running around in my own “race” called life, I am going to try to remember the importance of choosing truthfulness, tolerance, and love with integrity. I might not become a modern day superhero by practicing these things, but then again… maybe just a little!

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Super Bowl Sunday Is My 15-Year-Old’s Anniversary!?

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Our newly minted 15-year-old has an anniversary every year on Super Bowl Sunday. Yes, you read that right, an anniversary. We love Super Bowl Sunday and in my house it is a really big deal! Let me start by saying that I like football for all the reasons a girl who grew up in the south likes football… because of the pep rallies, the prayer before kick off, the cheerleading, the band’s halftime show, the homecoming parade, the concessions… You know what I am talking about right?- the magic of the Friday night lights. I do watch the game, honestly I do, but I am kind of more into the experience than the actual football. So, why do I get so excited for Super Bowl Sunday? Well, it’s not because of the commercials (although truth be told, I cannot wait to see them!). Please allow me to take you back to fifteen years ago. Fifteen years ago, our son was born. Like many soon-to-be parents, my husband and I were the kind where the entire time I was pregnant, we did everything that the book said and more. Eat healthy, take your vitamins, exercise enough- but not too much, no coffee, no wine, sleep on your left side, get a body pillow, talk to the baby, read to the baby, sing to the baby, start your baby book, take childbirth classes, get the car seat ready, walk (a lot) near your due date, especially during a full moon. This was the biggest, most exciting event in our lives and we were so excited when, during that full moon, our son was ready to make his appearance! Much to our surprise, and after all of our preparations, the minute he was born, he was whisked off to the other side of the room, and started receiving all kinds of treatments with suction, tubes and ventilator bags. The glances exchanged from nurse to doctor made it clear that all was not okay. Even though this was our first baby, we knew that we were supposed to be holding our son, snapping pictures, gazing at him and each other in wonder of it all and clearly, that was not what was happening. So, after minutes, which truly seemed like hours, the doctor explained that our boy was not breathing properly and that they were going to take him for “a little while” to help him with that. And off they went. My husband and I sat stunned, not in wonder, but left wondering-how? what? why? We had so many questions and we turned to the only one who could answer them for us-God. We prayed out loud together in that delivery room and each day after that. Our first baby would be spending his first night of life in the neonatal intensive care unit. The nurses in the NICU explained that our son had what was called meconium aspiration, which generally is mild and they expected him to be better in a couple of days. We were comforted by the fact that this was a temporary setback. His little body would recover and he would be the strong, healthy boy we had dreamed of. Well, two days turned into three days in the NICU and it was time for me to go home… after allowing me to stay an extra day to be down the hall from our son, the hospital no longer wanted me. I will never, ever, ever forget the heartache that I felt that day as I got in the car with my husband and had to drive away. We sat stopped at a red light, silent, worried, unsure, heartbroken. I looked out the car window and up at the hospital and felt physical pain at being separated from this child that I had carried for nine months. How can I go from feeling his every movement day and night to going home without him? Why and how can I leave when he needs me most? My husband and I spent hours at the hospital everyday, when we went home we pumped and bagged breast milk to be used when we weren’t with our son. We scrubbed in everyday and greeted the nurses that we had come to know as three days turned into four, then five, then seven and then nine… Every answer to our question of “when can he go home?”, came back as “almost ready to go home, but not quite”. Everyday, the doctors would say “probably tomorrow”. And everyday, we prayed. Then one day, one of our amazing nurses pulled me aside and said she was going to get permission for my husband and I to stay in a special “family” room that we could share overnight with our son. They would be still able to monitor him and we could spend an entire 24 hours with him! Yes!! We were giddy! My husband ran home and got our overnight bags and we settled in for a sweet night with our sweet baby. We finally felt complete and so very blessed. We had been able to spend our son’s eleventh night in the hospital with him and I did not think that I would ever be able to leave him to go home again. Really, I mean it, I did not think my feet would be able to carry me out that door. I kept thinking there had to be a way they would let us stay until he was ready to come home. The next morning when the doctor came in to check on our baby boy, he declared very simply that he was ready to go home! Jumping up and down, hugging, and crying out in glee doesn’t even begin to describe the joy in that moment. Do you know what day that was? Yep- it was Super Bowl Sunday! Sometimes, when the temporary seems too long and the journey too difficult, hang in there. Trust that God has plans for you and will rejoice with you when it is your moment for your own victory dance! So, that is why every year on Super Bowl Sunday, we celebrate the day that our son came home from the hospital at twelve days old. When everyone is getting together with friends and family and celebrating the big game, we are celebrating too, just something a little bit different. It sure feels good to be able to look over at our boy in wonder of it all! Happy Anniversary baby!

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Hey, should I put this on Facebook?

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So, today I was lucky enough to be able to celebrate the 2nd birthday of my neice’s son… I am not even sure what you call that– my second cousin, my first cousin once removed? Is he removed because he is two generations younger or removed because he is an offspring of my sister and not me? Or is he even removed? I really don’t know- I just call him adorable! Anyway, we were all beginning to crowd around the table to sing “Happy Birthday” to him. We all had our mobile phones & cameras out to snap the perfect picture, to capture that very precious moment when he sat in all of his sweet, embarrased glory while the whole room turned to him singing and sending up their own quiet wishes for his next year. All the while, all of us eager to get that “perfect” picture, so we could of course, post it to Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, I began to wonder. Are we taking the moment out of the moment? What I mean is, are we so much in search of the perfect picture that we lose the perfect moment in time? Sometimes, isn’t there that hint of dissappointment when you look back at your pictures and not find one that conveys the intensity, the joy, the beauty of the moment enough for it to be good enough to post on social media? Couldn’t you have zoomed in a little more? Couldn’t you have captured that smile, or that laugh, or that winning goal, or that highest jump, or that step across the finish line, or that walk down the aisle just a little bit better? My question is this, aren’t the imperfections in those moments just as beautiful as the perfect ones? Isn’t being in the present moment, enjoying the present moment, savoring that moment more important than capturing the perfect picture? In this day and age of instant media sharing, let’s cut ourselves some slack and not allow the “post” button to dictate whether or not we have a perfect moment because really, if we are in them, counting our blessings every minute of them, aren’t they all really perfect?! I know that two year old’s birthday party with family and friends who were there to sing to him, celebrate him, love him and wish him a beautiful life was just that- PERFECT!